What To Say To Women

When it comes time for guys to talk to women it’s always good to have a handful of compliments, questions, inquiries, stories, jokes, and anything else that will help break the ice and keep the conversation going.

This article will help you feel more confident as you approach women and start conversations whether you’re trying to come up with what to say to women online or in person.  You’ll learn how to start a conversation, keep it going, as well as know whether to pursue things further or shut things down and move on gracefully.

Some Things To Remember
Because women and men are different, keep in mind that women think a lot.  There are tons of things a woman thinks about when you are talking with her.  Also know that women are more feeling oriented.  They like being asked their opinion, how something looks, or how something makes them feel. It’s up to you to make sure you engage with her in a way that you are honestly listening and responding to her.

Complimentary Openers
One of the easiest ice breakers you can use is a complement.  For example, if you’re at the coffee shop or waiting to order a bagel, saying something like “Great choice, I’ve tried that flavor myself.” or “That sounds like an interesting combination, I’ll have to try that some time.” This type of opener allows you to assess her reaction and move on to the next step.

The next step is to follow up with a question. So the follow up question at the coffee or bagel shop becomes, “Are there any other flavors or combination of flavors you’d recommend?”

Here’s another opening compliment, let’s say you’re standing in line at a store and she’s got a great looking coat on, say something like, “Awesome looking coat.  Where did you get it?” Again, this kind of opener gives you time to not only hear her response but to think about what steps you’re going to take next.

Are you observing her do something clever?  Say it to her then, “Wow that is so cool, you’re so clever to do that.”

Maybe she’s been to the beauty shop and something stands out to you, make sure you compliment her:

  • “Wow, your nails look awesome, did you just get them done?”  This is a great compliment because there’s also a question in there for her to respond to.
  • Check out her earrings if she’s wearing them and say something like, “Nice earrings, they complement what you’re wearing really well.”
  • “Wow, beautiful hair, did you just have it done?  It looks incredible.”

If you find anything genuinely attractive about the woman you are approaching, make sure you compliment her on whatever you find attractive.  I’d stay away from body parts.  Don’t say, “Nice rack” or “You’ve got a smokin’ bod.”

The only time you’d ever want to use statements about her body is when you’ve been in a long-term relationship with her and you want to make sure she knows you’re still physically attracted to her.  Any of statements like these can be used in a playful way and not a degrading way when you’ve been with someone for a long time.

For now, stick with complimenting anything that has to do with her hair, make-up, what she’s wearing, shoes, blouse, dress, nails, earrings, etc. Compliment the colors, the interesting size or shape, the look of those type of items.

Practice by making a list of things to complement a woman or women who you see daily.  Maybe you go to the same store, the same night clubs, the same sporting events, whatever it is, set out to practice on someone you’d like to get to know better or just complement someone you think would love to hear a compliment.

By the way, you can use opener compliments where it pertains to someone who looks interesting to you online.  Obviously you can’t compliment something that’s not in real-time but if there are photos of her in recent events that she’s put up on facebook, a complimentary opener can work, whether it’s on her status page or by sending her a private facebook message.

Closing The Conversation
If you’re not getting any response or very little response from her, then you might want to close the conversation and move on.  Do this by making sure you don’t send a message that you’ve failed with her or you’re putting her off, say something like, “Nice talking with you” and move on.

You never know why some women don’t respond favorably, they could also be shy just as much as a guy could be.  You never know when you’ll run into her next or anyone she might know, so don’t say or do anything negative that could harm your efforts in the future.

A Note On Being A Shy Guy
If you’re shy, you need to take baby steps and that’s why I encourage you to practice on people you know or people you see every day that you are not interested in asking out. I will say that the best advice is just to keep going, practice and eventually approach women and start conversations. No matter how short the conversation is. Once you do this over and over for an extended period of time, you will succeed.

Keep The Conversation Going
When you’ve finally broken the ice and completed your opening compliment, make sure you keep the compliment mentality in the back of your mind so you can use it when necessary.

Bits of complements sprinkled over a longer conversation can keep the warm and fuzzies going with her.  Just don’t over do it and make it sound like that’s all you do, complement someone on everything they say or do.

One thing to keep in mind when you’re keeping the conversation going is to answer her questions with something more than just a short sentence.

For instance, if she asks you, “How many brothers and sisters do you have?”  Don’t just answer with, “3″ and leave it at that.  Make sure you elaborate with more information.  The more information part can spur something in her that she might want to continue the conversation with.

If you answer her with, “I have 2 brothers and 1 sister.  One brother lives in Arizona, one brother lives in town, and my sister lives in Colorado.” This might engage her with someone she might know who lives in those places.  You could also end up asking her the same question.  If something prompts you to keep the discussion going, like you know someone who lives where her brother or sister lives, then do.

To continue this example discussion on brothers and sisters, you could talk about how close you are to them and a childhood memory or two.  You could also talk about what they do in life if one of them has an interesting life.  Like, “My brother in Arizona is a helicopter salesman.” This could lead into, “He sells helicopters to…”  Hopefully you’re getting the point.

Practice Conversations
You can practice this in a mirror by yourself or anywhere.  Practice it with your buddies if they’ll let you. You probably do this already, it’s just that you’re not thinking about how you’re actually communicating with your guy friends.

Again, practice conversations with people you feel comfortable with at the store or somewhere you frequent often.

When you answer questions with a bit longer answer, you’re offering a hook for her and she to you as well, to keep the conversation going and introducing new topics in the conversation.

Successful conversations with women will include looking at her while talking to her, being honest about what you say without being abrasive, include some flirting, and some humor in your conversation when appropriate. Now that you know what to say to women, you’re now on your way to some great conversations with women.

Here are some related articles on talking to women: How To Talk To Women and How To Flirt With Women.

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